


Me, You and My Alcohol Collection

by bergann



Category: Chuck (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Cell Phones, Episode Related, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-19
Updated: 2009-12-19
Packaged: 2017-10-04 15:06:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bergann/pseuds/bergann
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>So now I have you all to myself, and your big friend with the good tranquilizers can't stick his nose where it isn't wanted.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Me, You and My Alcohol Collection

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for 2x12. Title inspired by a _Boys Like Girls_ song. For [](http://community.livejournal.com/picfor1000/profile)[**picfor1000**](http://community.livejournal.com/picfor1000/), the prompt:

 

  
Chuck doesn't really expect to hear from Tyler ever again. So he's kind of surprised a week after Tyler leaves, there's a new iPhone in the mail with a note that says 'I keep my promises. -T'. Chuck checks and there's only one number programmed into the phone. He texts a quick _you didn't really need to. I have two now_ to it, and it barely takes ten minutes before the phone rings. "That's really good. This will be our phone," Tyler says before Chuck can say anything. "I mean, I guess your other one is kind of a work phone and those are tapped, aren't they? So now I have you all to myself, and your big friend with the good tranquilizers can't stick his nose where it isn't wanted."

"Casey will probably find it sooner or later," Chuck says and settles down on the couch.

"Then I'll send a new one."

"I don't think that's necessary. I mean, what are we gonna discuss that my handlers can't know about?"

Tyler says, "My temporary manager is evil. A total psycho bitch."

"Like, tattooing-secret-messages-to-your-skin-to-sell-uranium evil, or?" Chuck asks, slightly worried, but he's fairly certain that no one has that kind repeated crappy luck except him.

"Nah, no, I'm not letting anyone but me design my tattoos from now on." Tyler laughs a little. "No, she's just a total bitch. Kicks me in the shin, too, if she thinks I'm disrespecting the women. I have to go see a psychiatrist now, can you believe that? I'm perfectly well adjusted."

"Yeah," Chuck agrees, can't help but grin. "So how's that going?"

"Perfectly fine. Mostly I've talked about you so far," there's a pause on Tyler's end and a small 'pop' that Chuck can easily imagine is because Tyler has opened a bottle of some kind of alcohol. "Not the whole you-know-what thing, obviously, just that I find it odd that you with your potential stick around at Buy More."

"Well," Chuck says and thinks about how weird it is to hear something Ellie and Morgan have been telling him for years from a rock star. He decides it's better to ignore it. "It's good you're keeping the secret."

"I am capable of keeping secrets, even though I'm the sort of idiot who gets tattoos I don't know what mean." Chuck can hear liquid sloshing over the line.

"Please tell me you're not drinking alone while you're talking to me," Chuck says, goes into the kitchen to find himself something to drink as well. "You're a star. That would be depressing."

"You're bloody right I'm a star," Tyler agrees at once. "It's bus night. This beer is just so I have something to drink. There is nothing but beer and alcohol. I have a shelf of alcohol like you wouldn't _believe_."

"Oh," Chuck says, laughing. "I think I do. And what, there's really nothing but alcohol?"

"The glamorous life of a musician," Tyler tells him. He sounds cheerful about it. Chuck isn't surprised. "I had some milk earlier, actually, but I think I finished it then. Or it was bad and got thrown out."

"The glamorous life of a musician includes milk?"

"Milk and cereal is the meal of all musicians, Chuck." Tyler says. "Without it, we would die in the mornings."

"I wasn't really sure you knew what morning was, actually."

"Morning is a bowl of cereal and some milk and a cup of coffee when you wake up, and if the night's been good, a warm body or two."

"Bus nights must suck for you," Chuck comments. "Though there are probably a lot of girls willing to be transported into another city with you, I guess. So maybe not."

"Nah," Tyler says. "I like a good bed for that sort of thing. Bus nights are meant for Halo and Guitar Hero. Relaxation of the kind bodies cannot provide."

"And now I take it calling me is being included in that type of relaxation."

"Yeah," Tyler agrees. "I figure, if I call on bus nights and talk to you about stupid shit, you'll get used to me and won't be so surprised should I show up at your door and push you onto a flat surface."

"Um, what?"

"Well I kind of thought you wanted to sleep with me, back when we were hanging at the bar. I thought that was why you kept protesting against the girls, but I figured we could work our way to that. It's always better if you get the girls out of the way first, they like some guy on guy action and I am more than happy to oblige. They were so eager; I wouldn't want to be rude." Tyler huffs a laugh. "And then you asked me to take my shirt off."

"We were about to be killed!" Chuck squeaks.

"Yeah," Tyler agrees easily. "But there's always that part in movies, isn't there, where the sexual situation happens right before everyone is about to be killed. Fuck, flight or fight, right? You must be used to those by now."

"Not, really. Well I mean, the flight thing, sure. I'm not much of a fighter, really, although you probably spotted that too when I pretty much failed to do anything about that guy." Chuck says, "And with Sarah and Casey, that - that really isn't an option."

Tyler's laugh is low and amused. "This is why we met, Chuck. I'm fairly good at fighting and running away when required. But the one thing I _really_ know what to do, is the fucking."

Chuck might squeak a little. "I'm - that's - uh..."

"Brilliant, I know." Tyler agrees cheerfully. "But still, I have this tour and it's too early for phone sex. I say we postpone that for another hour. Give this beer I'm having and the one after that sink in a little. What do you say?"

Chuck says something that might have been 'yes', but sounds a lot like a helpful tip for Halo.


End file.
